In this issue:
Hi Reader
Happy Spring! We've been doing a lot of Spring cleaning around our blog, trying different ways to communicate with you to see what everyone likes. Please always to feel free to respond to this email with any ideas or suggestions you have so we can be of more value to you!
Whitney and the PTT Team
P.S. You may be starting to look for grad gifts. We love to put a check in our favorite quote from this book, or even paper clip a few bills to our favorite passages. The Boy, The Mole, The Fox & The Horse Book Is The Perfect Graduation Gift
*Please note that our emails may contain affiliate or sponsored links where we earn a small commission from products purchased at no cost to you. It’s how we pay our team and keep our site running. Thanks for your support!
|
|
For the better part of her first years of life, she was often content to just sit quietly watching the world around her. People were constantly praising me for how well she behaved.
Looking back, I know now, I really should have been more suspicious. Because right around her third Birthday, things began to change…
|
|
|
Disciplining younger children is pretty straightforward. You take away screens for a few hours or put them in time out. You can send them to their room or perhaps decide not to take them for ice cream.
But as our kids move into adolescence, knowing how to implement discipline and what consequences will produce the desired effect can be an overwhelming challenge.
|
|
|
In the fast-paced journey of adolescence, where academic pressures, social dynamics, and self-discovery take center stage, the importance of proper nutrition often takes a backseat. Yet, the impact of making healthy food choices on your teen’s mental health is profound and cannot be ignored. Nutrition and teen mental health are inextricably linked, and it is vital that teens get all the vitamins and nutrients they need for their mental and emotional wellbeing.
|
|
|
Teen Sleep Habits Are Getting Worse--And It's Not Just Phones: News from Psychology Today
If you have some teens in your life, they'll love these. They're small but have a big impact. They're perfect for letting them know you're thinking about them this Valentine's Day!
|
|
|
Fun Mother's Day Gift: Mom's No Nag To-Do List
If you know a mom who has to constantly beg their family to do things and remind them about their activities, this is for them! Takes (most) of the nagging out of parenting and develops better habits!
|
A little funny for today. Love them, but man, they know how to push our buttons!
Life Perspective for Teens
I did the dishes and chatted with a group of teen girls that were sitting at my kitchen counter. The ACTs were the day before, and they were discussing how hard the science section was and if they would try retaking the test or the SAT to improve the scores.
"Do you think you need to take it again?" I asked. "What's your end goal? Will it help get you scholarship money, or do you need a higher score to get into the college you want?"
One girl replied, "Well, I just feel like my score should be higher. I mean, I'm just stressed about it. My parents tell me not to pressure myself, but I just believe I'm supposed to do better."
Another one said, "Yeah, it just seems like you are supposed to take the tests 3-4 times to get the best scores you can. That's what everybody does. Like, I worry about getting into any college right now."
And there it was. Trying to be the best for no reason. An indescribable pressure our teens feel at every single juncture.
Grades, test scores, college admissions, sports, activities, jobs, internships. The list goes on and on, and there's no end to it. Do more. Be more. It's never enough.
As I watched the girls eat their fast-food dinners while talking about the pressures they felt, one girl said, "My dad always talked about how he didn't feel like this. Did you? What's changed?"
And I quickly told her, "Well, I didn't have a phone that told me all the things everyone else was doing, or every piece of bad news happening in the world, or that could distract me all the time. We didn't have active shooter drills or worry about everything being laced with a drug that could kill us or cause us to black out. We did not worry about every segment of our life being recorded 24-hours a day."
That group of girls nodded their heads up and down.
"And sometimes we deal with things that feel out of control by trying to control everything else around us OR by doing nothing at all, so we have a culture of teens right now who are either hyper-overachievers who put so much stress on themselves on every thing they do or a group that is struggling to get by, unmotivated and deptressed. There's not a lot of in-between."
"So, what are we supposed to do?" one girl asked while putting a french fry in her mouth.
"Well, you don't look at these tests or your grades or anything else you do as achievements. You look at them as options. If you nail the ACT, that's great, and you should be proud, but it doesn't mean your life will be any more successful than before. It just gives you more choices. You need to believe that you guys will all be okay no matter your grades or scores or anything else, because you will be. But the work you are putting in now? Well, it's just giving you more choices on how you pursue it."
"Wow, I never thought about it that way," one girl said.
"Yeah, I think that's what my dad was trying to tell me, but I never understood it like that," another said.
And, of course, I was feeling a little smug. The truth was I gave that exact speech to my three girls hundreds of times over the last four years, so I knew it well. I looked over to my own daughter and said, "Right, honey? Isn't that what we always talk about?"
"Huh?" she replied, looking up from her phone while drinking her milkshake. "Um, yeah."
That was when I was reminded that our teens can't always just hear things from us, their parents. They need some permission from other adults who have been there. They need to hear our stories of how we got through life. They need to know that every decision or grade or test score is not life-changing.
It's a different world than the one we grew up in, and I think we're all struggling to figure out how to help our kids navigate it.
We have to help our kids be brave in their choices and know that no matter what path they choose, they can always get on another one to find happiness and success in their life.
Our kids may not always listen to us, but they're listening.
Let's make our words count.
-Parenting Teens & Tweens
PTT Support Group
Are you seeking a non-judgmental and supportive space to discuss issues related to teens and tweens? Join us in our Facebook group at Support for Parents of Teens and Tweens.
Thanks for reading! If you loved it, tell your friends to subscribe.
